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  • Writer's picture Laura Kern Ellis D. A. Hyp

The Hidden Sources of our Self-Images

It is important to note that self-image is a complex and dynamic concept. At birth, our self-images are largely a blank slate. We have no awareness of anything but physical and emotional needs.

Developing self image
A child's mindset

But soon after birth, we begin to acquire experiences, and these experiences begin to mold and shape us, mentally and emotionally. We receive messages, subtle and overt, verbal and non-verbal, intentional and unintentional. These messages tell us who we are and how we are viewed by others, particularly our parents: those towering, godlike beings upon whom we depend for our very existence. Sadly, many of these messages tell us that we are inferior and then become lodged into the subconscious mind which rules our life. The hidden sources of our self images...

In a healthy family dynamic, these messages of inferiority will tend to be minimal and will be counteracted by messages of love, affirmation, and grace. So again, in less healthy families, the negative messages will also take root in the child's soul. And in both healthy and unhealthy families, children will have unavoidable experiences that tend to tear down self-esteem and self confidence. A child will make mistakes; a parent might pass away; a child may experience abuse outside of a protective home or experience bullying at school as a few examples.

The more these experiences and messages chip away at a child's self-esteem, the more emotional pain the child experiences, the more hindered the child becomes in reaching their potential they were born with.

Some of the issues that develop are:

* The ability to face the challenges of life with confidence and motivation

* Being able to develop social intimacy with other people

* Not having the desire to develop intimacy with their creator - God

These are just a few of the challenges mentioned above - the river runs deep and can be very complex. Because 90% of an adult's personality is formed by the age of 10. These factors can not be erased from the child's life because they are integral to it. At the same time there is hope. There are a number of significant steps we can take to rebuild and remold self-esteem so that the lives we live can be more positive as we develop a more accurate assessment of ourselves.

In my practice I know the importance of getting in touch with your feelings - bringing awareness to where these emotions are coming from. Learning to accept praise from others is developed as we begin to grow and find healing. Redirecting negative self talk and thoughts are another key to healing self-esteem as the subconscious mind responds to repetition and I have some simple ways my clients can begin to retrain their mind.

And last, but certainly not least is the powerful modality of hypnotherapy. I have yet to find anything that works to sustain change in people naturally and in what seems like record time. Yes, the hurts from the past cannot be erased from the subconscious mind but they absolutely can be diffused.

As all of painful assumptions we have built up over the years about ourselves stem from programs deeply rooted now in the subconscious mind, doesn't it make sense that is where the root cause lies that needs to be reprogrammed? And, that is what hypnotherapy is all about, getting to root cause(s).

How long will it take? That depends on the individual and how they process new information, their past trauma and their ability to REALLY accept and want change. This I know for sure, months would be at the long end of the healing spectrum implementing hypnotherapy with holistic life coaching. Years are what conventional traditional therapies offer - (which almost always involve addictive pharma drugs.)

Which would you choose?

Laura K. Ellis D.A. Hyp

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