Relationships are and have always been a part of our lives and effect us all of our lives. More often than not we require healing from our relationships in one form or another. What I know for sure is true healing can only take place if we choose to go through a spiritual process. This process is like a detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have the true desire to make positive changes in our lives and have the courage to ask for assistance to be healed, then and only then will the deeply buried unhealed aspects ( false beliefs) begin to transform.
At times, a relationship comes about to only show us where our blocks are to truly love. Blocks that have been buried or denied. We never get as crazy like we do around the people we become really attracted to right? That is when we can see our dysfunctions most clearly however.
As vessels for healing, relationships are like a trip to the divine physicians office. How can we recieve the help unless we able to tell where the inner wounds are? They must be brought to surface through awareness first. If a relationship is allowing you to merely avoid your unhealed aspects of self then you know you are hiding there and not healing / growing. The universe never supports that.
Our egos mostly think of the perfect relationship as one in which everyone shows a perfect face. If you are pretending to have it all together in some area where you really do not... then you are fostering an illusion about yourself. You would be acting out of fear and most likely a fear that someone would see the truth about you, that you feel unlovable or are easily rejected. The thing is this fear ( false belief ) is an illusion. Our neuroses in relationships usually stem from having an agenda for the other person, or the relationship itself. It's not our job to try to make a relationship / person into something we think it should be...our job is learn to love ourselves more..healing, growing, to know we are enough... so that then we attract the relationships where we are easy to love because we return that love in much more healthier ways!